Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! First of all, thank you all – especially to those nice people, who read my posts and a thank you in advance to those wonderful people, who are going to read them! And a very warm thank you to those, who rewarded me with a compliment, a comment, or constructive criticism, or a simple “like” on Facebook. And thank you to those, who showed support and understanding.

And now, I shall sum up!

One time my husband told me, it's better to be a pathetic blogger, than just be pathetic.

He should be ashamed of calling me a pathetic blogger!

But rather than feeling angry I felt quite honored, as he now calls me a BLOGGER! It’s always a pleasure to get a new stamp on your forehead.

So I kept on being a pathetic blogger for a little longer, rather than to be pathetic :)  (Apparently I am pathetic, if I am not blogging.) 


But suddenly one of my posts had reached 600+ likes on Facebook in just 2 days (which was a record by that time). Then my husband said that one day I will become a famous blogger. I admit that a glimpse of spot light wouldn’t be too shabby. Walking the red carpet, interviewing celebrities (the smart ones), traveling to exotic countries (like tax haven countries), reviewing bestselling books for money, be a gust writer on HBR, or the Economist- all that could be so arousing. Dreams, dreams, dreams. But it’s better to be a pathetic dreamer, than just to be pathetic, right? 

Despite the “I-am-not–yet-famous-blogger” state of my well-being, here are some bright spots that still keep me blogging:

1. It has a therapeutic effect- I helps me to calm my mind when having a conflict2. It has a coaching effect- I helps me to see the patterns of my behavior

3. It helps me to see the situation from an alternative position

4. I have developed a habit to think in terms of blogging, just few minutes per day is enough to come with a new thought, which I later can develop in a blogging context.

5. It helps me to remember the books I read, as well as reflect upon them

6. It sparked my interest towards psychology

6. I have met interesting people, when I had my little journey when trying myself as a journalist.

But despite all the fun with blogging, my first half of the year was NOT so fun, as I expected. As one of my New Year Resolutions for the 2013 was that, I absolutely should step out of my comfort zone – as much as possible. I signed into the course in Journalism. That was real “out –of- my- comfort- zone” experience. Playing the role as a Journalist was actually real fun- I had to find a story, be creative upon my limits, notice indifferent details and make then central, find interesting connections to reality, then discover, contact and interview new people, think of decent questions, then pull the story, like the puzzle, polish it like a diamond and remember by heart. All of that I enjoyed so much.

But everything has its own price!

When you are so dedicated and passionate to something, it becomes your baby. When you write something, and you mean it, it can become an uncontestable truth. No matter if it is an opinion, a thought, a fact, etc. And when you thus convincingly debate that opinion, thought or fact, you might come out as the more convincing part in a discussion.

But did you know that your brain is being hooked on being right because you develop addiction to the feeling of wining? When you argue and win, your brain receives the dozes of adrenaline and dopamine, which indeed makes you feel good, dominant, and invincible? But the adrenaline and dopamine makes you addicted to it. So next time you argue, you absolutely must receive the doses of new adrenaline and dopamine.

But this is not a good, especially when you are among people, who don’t know you well enough.  

Luckily, I read one articles on HBR, and it says” there’s another hormone that can feel just as good as adrenaline: oxytocin. It’s activated by human connection and it opens up the networks in our executive brain, or prefrontal cortex, and further increases our ability to trust and open ourselves to sharing. Your goal as a leader should be to spur the production of oxytocin in yourself and others, while avoiding (at least in the context of communication) those spikes of cortisol and adrenaline.”

That was the turning point to the better second half of the year (along with the fact that I HAVE GOT A NEW, PERFECT JOB!)

For example, listening with empathy without any judgment or analyses could be one of the exercises when practicing oxytocin- inducing behavior.  And I suppose there are more oxytocin- inducing exercises to go with. Sex, sport, compassion, good food, inner balance meditation and, of course, good mood And only then, I suppose your dreams are not pathetic anymore!

So did you guess what are my 2014 New Year Resolutions going to be?