But sometimes I feel that sexual influence is just all around, even if we don’t see it. From the job interviews, to the firings, a person's looks or movements, or their voice or smell attract attention- thus having an impact on somebody’s willingness to hire/fire, cooperate, help, promote and share information. Moreover, the attraction may be enhanced by a person's adornments, clothing, perfume, hair style and anything else which can attract the sexual (let’s focus on non-innocent) as well as non-sexual interest of another person. This attraction forms the environment on which we build our relationships on.
On occasion, I believe that the sexual impulses we send are also influencing our career success/ failures- in some professions more than in others. Thus, it is a skill (for some it’s probably bigger asset than for others), which should be used wisely in order to gain success in our career.
So, is it naturally clever or awkwardly brainless to use our sexual impulses if one wishes to progress at work?
To solve the dilemma, I would like to ask another question: Sex and work place- what does it have in common? Well, we do both “jobs” in order to continue to exist. We do it by means of competition.
Let’s start with sex.
A theory common to natural evolution is the one of natural selection, which in turn, has determined the human nature. It selected and enhanced only the “best” species. Thus, there is a competition between organisms, a competition for survival and reproduction. For the best species to survive, or win this competition, we have to win a sexual selection competition as well. The strongest, the best, the healthiest, the most beautiful are chosen first. There is a good reason for that- they have better genes. If we want to be chosen, we have our very powerful tool, sexual impulses, which we send in order to attract the attention from the opposite sex. We are lucky that we can control these impulses, as well as understand, take actions over, improve, or even fake.
So, by the rules of nature, we involve sexual impulses by making ourselves attractive to opposite sex. We do it in order to survive and reproduce.
Let’s shift to work place.
The same rules apply: Here the natural selection process is also doing the job: the best company/product/people should stay; the worst should go off (leave the market place) (or be bailed out). The evolutional selection transforms companies, it changes companies so they fit external environment, unsuccessful rivals to have to exit or redefine strategies. Thus, the companies/product/people compete as well and the “best” continue to exist. This is also done by means of competition.
Then ones career journey is then seen as an even more complicated path. It’s not enough to do the job; we have to do it best, because our company/department/product has to be superior among competitors. If we care enough for it, we have to compete for it by all means.
So, business is as a microcosm of life and survival- the same evolutional theory applies. Therefore, it should be naturally to expect that sexual selection have a serious impact on some important business-related choices. Consequently, our sexual appearance has also impact on our career: the strongest, the best, the healthiest, the most beautiful are chosen first, because they stand for good genes and good health, which is also a trigger for success.
To solve my dilemma further, I will ask another question: how is all this interrelated?
Sexual impulses are affecting the major part of our life, both directly and indirectly. There is no doubt that the natural aim of the sexual impulse is the sexual act. However, the sexual impulses are affecting our life indirectly. The power of these impulses also impacts our life style- and therefore has significant influence on our personal development, personal growth, personal achievements, etc. “Upon this is built respect, self-control, sympathy, unity of purpose, many common tastes and desires” (Margaret Sanger, "What Every Girl Should Know,").
In fact, sexual attraction inspires us to all endeavors and achievements, from all art and poetry to flying to space; this impulse is also the creative instinct, which dominates all living things and without which life must die. This impulse stimulates us to perform better, and therefore, win the competition.
So why is sexually appealing clothing, make-up and behavior is not a norm? As Sigmund Freid said in this “Dream Psychology” book “the significance of sexual complexes must never be forgotten, nor must they, of course, be exaggerated to the point of being considered exclusive”.. “No one impulse has had to undergo so much suppression from the time of childhood as the sex impulse in its numerous components”. Still, sex and work is not considered normal, it is forgotten, and flirt considered embarrassing and stupid.
So, if you are to use your sexual impulses, then you are to break the “what is being considered normal”, and you are also kill the stereotype. The feeling of liberation is the price if you go against the social pressure, normal behavior or even cultural norm. Without people, who change the order of how we do things, or how we dress, or what we say, we won’t get innovations, liberalization, new trends, etc. In short, if you want to use your sexual impulses for your success, you have to go against “the way we do things around here”. If you are to break that norm, you must be exceptionally good!
Also, if you are to break that perception, at least you have to be in the right industry. If you are an actor/actress- then you might even benefit from these perceptions. If you are a trader, well, not sure how much value your sex appeal will create when you are being distracted at the moment of short-run decisions.
So there is negative side to it. Therefore, it could also be wise to forget what I have just written here- we don’t want to be misperceived, misjudged. There is big risk to that. But remember, the higher the risk you take in, the higher the return on that investment.
My point here is: The nature, the opposite sex and the employer will always choose the best candidates first. Those, who are associated with good health, are the best for winning the natural, sexual or business-related competition of selection. It’s up to you to decide what’s wrong and what’s right. Personally, I think it can be naturally-clever to wisely invest your own sex appeal in order to achieve something, because by nature, we have to attract in order to survive. And work is just a microcosm of nature.
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